The War of the Roses

The War of the Roses

In the 1980’s comedy, The War of the Roses, Barbara and Oliver Rose go from marital bliss to all out war. Unfortunately, this is not an unusual story in America today. The average length of a marriage in the United States is currently 8.2 years. How does a couple go from the marriage altar to divorce court in less than 10 years? While there are many answers to this question, one sure way is by fighting the wrong enemy. Join us for part 4 of Ever After where we expose the myth that our spouse is the enemy and reveal the identity of the real villain behind every relational conflict.

Marriage Myth #3:

The myth of the War of the Roses

  • In marital conflict, my spouse is the enemy who must be subdued, defeated, or won over.
  • If we don’t correctly identify the enemy, we will fight the wrong battle.
  • My battle is not with my spouse, but for him/her.


Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. – Ephesians 6:13

How do I apply this?

  1. Start with the person in the mirror
  2. Prayer
  3. Stand firm

Daily Readings:

This week’s daily Bible reading plan continues our journey through the book of Genesis. As you read, pay special attention to the marriages and families mentioned. Invite the Holy Spirit to teach you about your own family and relationships through the accounts you read.

Day 1: Genesis 24-25
Day 2: Genesis 26-27
Day 3: Genesis 28-29
Day 4: Genesis 30-31
Day 5: Genesis 32-33
Day 6: Genesis 34-35
Day 7: Genesis 36-37

Suggested Resources:


The Meaning of Marriage, by Tim Keller
The Mingling of Souls, by Matt Chandler
You and Me Forever, by Francis Chan
Scary Close, by Donald Miller

I Love You More, by Les and Leslie Parrott
His Needs, Her Needs, by Bill and Joyce Harley
Convergence: Marriage, by Donald Miller