Great Expectations

Great Expectations

The happy couple returns from their honeymoon and begins to unpack their bags. As soon as the bags are emptied, the happy couple begins to discover that this wasn’t what they’d expected. Those bags were full of expectations they’d each collected over a lifetime; expectations their spouse may be unwilling or unable to meet. Join us for part one of Ever After… where we explore the myth of great expectations and learn what Jesus taught us to do with them. 

Marriage Myth #1:

The Myth of Great Expectations

Expectation: A hope, dream, or desire  (conscious or unconscious, spoken or unspoken) that something will happen or be the case in the future.

The problem of Great Expectations:

  • You don’t know you have them
  • Expectations create a debt – debtor relationship.
    – Eliminates the possibility for gratitude
    – Eliminates the possibility of love and intimacy
    – Diminishes joy and happiness
  • We spend all our time focused on our unmet expectations without considering the needs of others.

“Happy couples know that they owe each other everything but they aren’t owed anything in return.” – Andy Stanley


  • A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. – John 13:34 (ESV)
  • There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. – John 15:13 (NLT)
  • Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. – Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)


  • Show up or log in every week for the next three weeks
  • Be a part of a small group each week
  • Pick something from our suggested list of resources to read/watch with your significant other
  • Sign up for Adventures in Marriage (beginning Wednesday, September 1, from 6:00 – 7:30 p.m.)
  • What’s in your bag of expectations? Whom are you expecting to carry them around?

Daily Readings:

This week’s daily Bible reading plan begins a journey through the book of Genesis. As you read, pay special attention to the marriages and families mentioned. Invite the Holy Spirit to teach you about your own family and relationships through the accounts you read.

Day 1: Genesis 1-2
Day 2: Genesis 3-4
Day 3: Genesis 5
Day 4: Genesis 6-7
Day 5: Genesis 8
Day 6: Genesis 9-10
Day 7: Genesis 11

Suggested Resources:


The Meaning of Marriage, by Tim Keller
The Mingling of Souls, by Matt Chandler
You and Me Forever, by Francis Chan
Scary Close, by Donald Miller

I Love You More, by Les and Leslie Parrott
His Needs, Her Needs, by Bill and Joyce Harley
Convergence: Marriage, by Donald Miller

Making Waves